Me and my instabilities...im not comfortable with her being around...and in the picture...
BUT yesterday...unlike i would as usual air my opinion, regardless of anything else, kept my uncertainties to myself and acted all nonchalant...
i upset my cuddlywuddly...and made him think that i didnt care at all...
I DO!

how? how? how? How am i supposed to come to terms with the whole thing? i do trust my cuddlywuddly... but its not that! its just that i cant bring myself to even think of a life without my cuddlywuddly...what would i do?

never felt so freaked out in my life...its scary that i can even feel like this...

i know one thing for sure though...its past us now...and I LOVE HIM!

Sigh! [happy, dreamy smile]

CuddlyWuddly says:

Everything i want?
Everything i need?
Everything i dreamed of?
Everything I've longed for?
How would i describe you?
Everything and more...no,
Even that doesn't do justice.

Where will i find the words?
My mind betrays me, deserts me.
The only thing there...is you.

Your face, your smile,
Your voice, your touch.
Comforting me and tormenting me.

Someday, you won't be just in my head,
You'll be here, next to me,
In my arms to hold you close...forever!

testing, 1-2-3!

if you call this a test...you would definitely have hit the nail quite painfully hard on the head.

all has been revealed and cuddlywuddly and the creature seem to be smarting over it

creature's view

creature has ended up being quite a disappointment to cuddlywuddly. creature is quite upset over the fact that maybe cuddlywuddly sees her in an entirely different light. she is shit scared that things are going to change, and even more scared out of her wits that this will only get worse and lead to her losing her cuddlywuddly. creature regrets doing what she did..even if it did mean something at the time. she wishes that this would not jepordize the entire thing they have going...and even more...a sense of remorse and regret, topped by a deep feeling of shame and guilt just makes things entirely worse

cuddlywuddly's view (as assumed by creature)

creature thinks cuddlywuddly at this very moment is re thinking every idea he had of creature...he is probably very disappointed and confused about the entire thing and most probably [this seems a surefire assumption] cannot even try to imagine that creature actually did what she did! it probably seems too unreal to believe

all in all...if this lasts this test...it would mean that the love cuddlywuddly and creature share is TRUE!

insha allah!

its all good! ... it feels so good!...
to update the latest happenings...cuddlywuddly got me the cutest kitty ever...and we named him creature the kitty...aint that cute
and think creature likes cuddlywuddly more than me...! imagine that...he likes cuddlywuddly's feet more than anything else...SO cute
me got a cuddlywuddly visit yesteryday....it was a yummy yummy visit!...would love more though...

confessions!

never thought i would be able to say it...but i did! and it was like i anticipated...he immediately thought i'd told him that i loved him simply because he told me the day before...idiot! im not the type to be influenced like that,
he is just too good to be true, so supportive and always there for me...i actually wouldnt mind being whisked away for good...but then...life doesnt work the way you want it too...
discovered something even more amazing...i got full fledged explanations of why my mother was being an utter B.... and even though the explanations sounded vaguely familiar, and like he was taking her side...for the first time...i didnt get pissed off and stuff...amazing!
here's wishing to an awesome life with my cuddlywuddly!